No Selfies Allowed

Of all the outrageous warning signs and postings I have seen, this one is one of the best!  This was a sign taped in the courthouse in White Plains, New York, Westchester Supreme Court. 

This sign warns you not to take a selfie in the bathroom.  There is a sign outside the door and one inside near the sink, in case you thought you might ignore the first sign as you walked in. And in case you were wondering if this was an actual law, conspicuously placed at the bottom of this notice is the number of the executive order and the year it went into effect.

The signs says: All cell phone use, including taking pictures, is prohibited in this area. - Executive order #2 of 2014.

So what was I to do?  I snapped a picture of course!

Pants At Your Waist!

/

It's a sad state of affairs when a sign is needed to remind people that you need to dress appropriately when at the courthouse and that appropriately means: pants worn at the waist! 

This is at the courthouse in Peekskill, New York. The posted sign states: Proper attire: All pants must be worn at the waist.

Where is the decorum? the proper etiquette?  ...  the self-respect?!

They should give out summonses!

Learned in School And Will Never Use IRL - Or So I Thought

The joke goes that so many things you learn in school you will never use in real life.  The funny thing about this is in actuality, at times, you do use those lessons in real life without even realizing it.  


For example, when you try to beat the red light, your mind is calculating how fast you must travel for a certain distance in order to get past the light before it turns green.  Your mind is really calculating trigonometry. Or is it calculus? Whatever it is, it sounds a lot like this math problem on analyzemath.com: 

Problem 1: A person 100 meters from the base of a tree, observes that the angle between the ground and the top of the tree is 18 degrees. Estimate the height h of the tree to the nearest tenth of a meter.

There are so many lessons in high school that you would think you will never need again. Law school is no different. How many times in law school did I learn a doctrine that I truly felt I will never use nor see ever again?    

Until that time that I did see it again... 


One day I was reading a book for my local book club, The Alienist by Caleb Carr.  First published in 1994, it was a major phenomenon, spending six months on the New York Times bestseller list, receiving critical acclaim, and selling millions of copies.  A "touchstone of historical suspense fiction", a period piece that is "fast-paced and riveting, infused with historical detail".  Sounded interesting enough! It is the last place I would think to find an esoteric legal doctrine I learned in my first year of law school, in Torts class no less.    


But there it was.  the text bounced off the pages of the book and knocked me into my quondam days of being a 1L: 

"Res ipsa loquitor".  


First of all, even the word "torts" is not one that is ever used outside the halcyon days of first year of law school.  Instead one says "personal injury case".  So to see res ipsa loquitor a decade later was a precipitous journey way back to sitting in the back of Torts class at Howard University. 


So for all  1L students struggling through your classes.  It may seem unforeseeable but don't worry because one of these days those seemingly expendable legal dogmas will creep up on you when you least expect it!  

Paid by the Minute

Paid by the Minute - New California law says you must be paid by the minute

It started with fast food workers demanding higher wages. Now all workers across the nation have galvanized to win a $15 an hour minimum wage. In 2012, 200 fast food workers walked off the job to demand $15 hourly wages and union rights. What began as a fast food workers plight has become a global movement! Thanks to Fightfor15.org, now more than one in five workers is covered by $15 minimum wage.  Twenty-two million workers have won $68 million in raises.

The federal minimum wage is set at $7.25 an hour and has remained the same since 2009. According to the Associated Press, twenty states have minimum wage increases taking effect in 2019. Twenty-Nine states and the District of Columbia have set minimum wages above the federal level since 2009.

It is great to see that workers are getting an increase in their minimum hourly wage. But when you think about it, nowadays everything is tracked and pinpointed. Your location can be pinpointed and be off by just a few yards, if even that. Time also can be tracked by the millisecond, or even less than that. What then, if you work an extra 2 minutes at work? Shouldn’t you get paid for those extra two minutes?

California courts say yes! California Supreme Court departs from the doctrine of federal wage-and-hour de minimus doctrine that excuses the payment of wages for very small amounts of time that are irregular and administratively difficult for the employees to track. But nowadays time need not be difficult to track at all. According to the California Supreme Court, if the time can be captured, then it can and must be paid. This means that if you stay at work for an extra 2 minutes, then you must be paid for those extra two minutes!

But wait a minute!

There is one unexpected, small, minor, shall I say, minute problem with this ruling. This pay-by-the-minute ruling suggests that now your time at work cannot be rounded up. Rounding up of time is common and it is permissible under federal law. But if we are tracking by the minute, essentially tracking by the second, then rounding up seems to be de minimis.

Rounding up of your time at work becomes negligible and unnecessary. Think about it, for a minute or two and you will see that it makes sense. Or on second thought, if you live in California, use those extra few minutes instead and get back to work…. Because you get paid by the minute!

Why More Lawyers Should Speak Spanish

globallinguals.com

onelegal.com poses the question: 

Why should lawyers bother to write in plain English, as opposed to garbled 'legalese'?

They point out that: 

Arguably, in today’s high-tech world, where legal

Love is Grand!

Love is grand.  

Divorce is a hundred grand.

No, really...

Our prices are very reasonable! 

Give us a call! 

347-948-TORRES (6773)

or

201-540-URBAEZ (8722)

You Need A License For What?

brooklynartscouncil.org

If cops ever cracked down on this law, half of Brooklyn would be in jail. 

Luckily, this law is not enforced. 

Needing a license to hang your clothes on a clothesline is probably one of the most ridiculous laws there is. 

Many states are currently revoking clothesline bans because what were once considered eyesores are now viewed as eco-friendly.

 http://nypost.com/2016/06/19/new-york-citys-most-ridiculous-laws/

You have the right to remain SILENTO

When arrested, you are read your "Miranda Rights".... You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you...

If the detainee speaks spanish?  Oh?  Thats Easy!  "You have the right to remain silento..."

NO, Wait.  It's..."You have the right to remain silencio."

No... Yeah... I think so.  That's about right!

Well, the American Bar Association wants to assure you get it right!  They

Sotomayor Calls for More Diversity on the High Court

Justice Sonia Sotomayor and Victor Urbaez' children

Justice Sonia Sotomayor says the Supreme Court needs more diversity, amid the politically charged debate about filling a vacancy on the high court.  

"I … think there is a disadvantage from having (five) Catholics, three Jews, everyone from an Ivy League school," Sotomayor, the court's first Latina justice, said Friday at Brooklyn Law School.  

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/04/09/sotomayor-wants-more-diversity-on-court-after-obama-picks-garland-white-ivy-male.html

What Justice Sotomayor sems to be stating is that diversity is multi-faceted, geographical area the justices are from, the law

Court Room Yoga

Just a little legal humor.


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BUFETE not to be confused with Bufé

Platanos and Filet Mignon at PRBA event
Read more here

Gramática‏@GramaticaReal

Bufete: es el despacho de un abogado. Bufé: lo relacionado a los alimentos. ¡No confundir!

Lawyer Up

Just a friendly reminder from your local neighborly attorney's office!

Un recuerdo, una advertencia de Tu Abogado Del Pueblo.

#lawyerup

Hip Hop and the Law

Hip Hop lyrics talk about many things except for law school --- until now that is!  

Listen to Drake's lyrics in How 'Bout Now and he mentions the BAR exam.  

Always felt like my vision been bigger than the bigger picture

Crazy how you gotta wait until it's dark out to see who really with ya

Crazy how even when it miss ya, sh*t'll come back around and get ya

Crazy like all my n***, crazy like all my n***

Remember I deleted all my other girls numbers out the phone for you?

Remember when you had to take the BAR exam, I drove in the snow for you

You probably don't remember half the shit a n*** did for you

There should be more hip hop lyrics that talk about other things like law school!

Another of Drake's songs: Started fro the Bottom has a kids version that exalts the

Justice Sotomayor Decides Who is the BEST Salsa Dancer

Justice Sotomayor and Esai Morales

Cubans invented Salsa music.  Dominicans grace the world with Bachata.  Puerto Ricans, well, they've got J-LO.  

Justice Sotomayor and Jorge Ramos

One thing is for sure however.  Latinos love to dance!  And everyone wants credit for being the BEST dancing group.  Well, Justice Sonia Sotomayor has laid down the rule of law in the issue of who is the best Latino dancing group.

When at her alma mater of Yale she answered like this;

“Among Hispanic men, the best dancers in terms of keeping a beat are Dominicans, the worst are Cubans."

He dicho!  Caso Cerrado!!! 

Read more here-> 
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2014/10/26/never-dance-with-a-cuban-sotomayor-says/

Justice Sonia Sotomayor salsa dancing with Jorge Ramos

Justice Sonia Sotomayor mambo-ing with Esai Morales

Why Hire a LATINO attorney?

Urbaez bumped into an old friend from Washington Heights who had a neighbor that needed legal assistance.

so the potential client said:  My lawyer said they have a audio tape of me and so that i should plead guilty and i would only do 1 year.  just 1 year.  so i figured that's a good deal.

Urbaez asked his friend's neighbor from Washington Heights, what's on the tape?

He anwered: "Oh-Oh! I dont know!"

Urbaez said ok, let's go speak to your attorney.  So Urbaez asked the attorney, I want to hear this audio tape to see what it says.  So the attorney said, no problem.  It's pretty damaging stuff!  Here goes... and the attorney clicks <play>.

The voice on the recording says: "mira nene, ay bendito..."

Urbaez abruptly stands up.  "This meeting is over because that is NOT the defendant on that tape!"

"How can you be so sure counselor?"

"I am more than sure.  That is NOT him on that tape!"

"well. perhaps you should listen a little more.  You hardly heard it at all."

I've heard enough to know that that is NOT the defendant on the tape!

"You know if he pleads Not Guilty they will have voice experts to analyze the tape"

"Voice experts do not concern me because that is NOT him on the tape."

"How can you be so confident counselor? How do you know for sure?"

Urbaez nods his head. "Not Guilty." Turns to the defendant and says, "Vamonos,  este tiguere no conoce un boricua cuando lo oye.  Ese fue un Bori hablando.  Ese no eres tu!  Y nunca puede ser tu.  Imposible!"

Client grabs his coat and walks away with Urbaez, "oh-oh!  Co-mo!?!"


It's not so much speaking your language.  It's a cultural sensitivity.  This is just one example.

Next time think about THAT before you call just any attorney!

He dicho!  Caso Cerrado!   Tu Abogado Del Pueblo

Keep calm and ..... Call your lawyer!

This is our new mantra!

Keep Calm and....

Call your lawyer!

347-94-TORRES
347-948-6773

The Law and Santeria

madameyayas.com

Client calls and says:

I need a lawyer and I called you because I know you'd understand.  I need someone that UNDERSTANDS how we do! Someone who UNDERSTANDS santeria!

#truestory

¡Ay, Francisco!

El Papa Francisco

Potential Client calls and says:

¿Este es una oficina de abogados?

SI.

Porque yo me quiero cambiar el nombre.

OK. PORQUE RAZON TE QUIERES CAMBIAR EL NOMBRE SENOR?

Porque el nombre mio es muy comun....

COMO SE LLAMA USTED SEÑOR?

Yo me llamo Francisco y es tán común que hasta el Papa me cojió el nombre!

jajajaja

Attorneys Tipping the Scales - but not of justice

If becoming a lawyer is something you are considering because perhaps the scales of justice peaks your interests, you might consider peeking at another scale as well.


A recent online survey conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of CareerBuilder among 5,772 U.S. workers found:

Attorneys and Coffee

judges, attorneys, hotel workers -> most likely to take their coffee black.
who writes this stuff!?!  ha!
black no sugar for me! 
http://www.bonappetit.com/blogsandforums/blogs/badaily/2012/10/professions-biggest-caffeine-habit.html